Singing Doggy-Woggy-Woodle All the Day

Well, I’m proud to say that, at just shy of a full year here, I’ve managed not to be arrested a single time, nor have I ended up living in a cardboard box by the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, though I hear those are hot properties these days. I mean, aside from one thumb-slicing incident that probably could’ve resulted in me dying from blood loss from the amount of screaming and flailing about that I did as a result, I’ve not really maimed myself significantly either… and you know that I enjoy a good maiming now and again.